Hit Me Over the Head!

This weekend I have a bed and breakfast guest from China who now lives outside of Pittsburg. She described her life to me (unsolicited!) as very solitary. She goes to work at a computer job then comes home to an apartment where she lives alone. She is reconsidering her career choice because she realizes how much passion she has for cooking and for talking to other people. Now she is dreaming of owning a restaurant or a catering business.

Some comments from my guest:
It is very quiet in your house. Do you ever just turn on the radio or TV to have some noise here? That would make it more homey.
Are all these painting in the house by you? I can see you have a real passion for creating things.

Okay, okay universe, I'm paying attention! (Hit me over the head why don't you!) I will remember my passion to make art and remember that I need connection to other people.

Steps forward:
I put a radio in the kitchen that gets good reception so now I can listen to NPR any time.
I put a chair and hanging basket of flowers at my front door so I can see all the activity on the street. All of our houses on my street have big back yards and so everyone stays isolated from each other. Crazy! Today I sat out front and ate my lunch.
I am researching ways to print a very small run of my picture book. That will make me happy and give me some motivation to do more illustrating!

This month's chapter in the Artist's Way is about compassion, which to me is about accepting myself for who I am (before that--knowing who I really am). It is a life-long process of peeling back the layers to discover, acknowledge, and accept the person that I am, so I can live my life BIG, full, and rich with smiling, artful, joy filled days!

For Every Truth There is an Opposite Truth

Last week I decided that I can't work in solitude. It was game changer for me. I decided that I shouldn't pursue being an illustrator and I might as well forget any freelance graphic work. The thought of either was just too lonely. This discovery changed everything. I needed to switch gears totally to a new speed and go in a new direction.

My daily life now is pretty quiet. I work with just a few other women, come home to just 2 cats. Sometimes the disconnection to other people really gets to me. But I've built into my week some regular dinners and visits with folks after work, when that happens. I plan activities for the weekend ahead of time so I make sure to see other people. That's all fine, until it isn't. Until too many plans are cancelled and it's too much effort to see people. When that coincides with a slow time at work, I'm in trouble. Life seems very empty.

So you can see how I ended up thinking I either need a job with more people or a home life with more people. I need balance!

Enter Mary and Fanny, two sisters-in-law who I met last weekend. The back story is that in an effort to fill my house with humans, I have two rooms I rent as bed and breakfast rooms. This past weekend these 2 women came to visit our small town and changed me.

They looked at my paintings and illustrations and admired and encouraged me. They talked about their own lives and gave examples of hope. They said--Follow your heart. Do things that excite you!

Meanwhile, I got totally engaged in a graphics job and forgot I was working alone! I got a request for an illustration job for the fall and thought it would be rewarding to do, not lonely.

I decided that I can work in solitude. I just need to be engaged and feeling good about my work when working alone. That changes everything again. Fanny and Mary said- just self-publish that children's book you wrote and illustrated and sell 100 copies. It'll make you feel great! You would have sold your first copies to us!

The trick for me is to feel that good feeling of excitement and engagement whether I'm with someone or alone. That is the trick.

Here's one scene from my unpublished book "It Began with a Song" that depicts the sun hugging all the animals in the book in a warm embrace... ahhh!

Backyard Artist Date- Spring

Zooscope Play

I read somewhere recently that being an artist is all about play.  Experimenting with colors, turning things over so you see them from another angle, splattering paint on the wall, and generally just getting back to what it was like as a child to have fun. I finally see that this is what Julia Cameron has been trying to tell us for nine weeks. Our true artist is a child. A child who just wants to feels the mud squishing through our fingers and sing a song about it.

I've been thinking about this. Then I realized I should STOP THINKING about it, and just play.  Rob gave me this Zooscope a while back,

 so, I played.

I turned things over and over and over again.

And this is what I saw...