Everyday

One of the tasks of week 7 was to take the time to just sit and listen to one side of an album. Just for the joy of it. (I love that there are no "sides" anymore, so I got to listen to the whole thing.) The album I picked was Dave Matthews Band's Everyday, which was released twelve years ago last week. The album was criticized a lot and many people felt it was too far of a departure from DMB's regular style. I thought it was fine. Great in fact. It was released at the very time I moved to Ithaca and I listened to certain songs over and over and over again in my first ever rented apartment. I had been in young adulthood for a while, but was coming into a more settled version of myself, and DMB helped carry me along. It was before family and kids, before responsibility, before I even had my dog. I was so young and free then, sometimes I miss those days desperately.

I spent most of last week in a bit of a tailspin about the stresses of family life. Everyday the same old same old. Everyday the struggle. Everyday the cold winter dragging me down. I thought it was appropriate to listen to Everyday to help reestablish a connection with myself this week.

So Friday afternoon, in between my son and his playmate's rather large and ongoing needs, I sat in the sunroom and listened to The Space Between, When the World Ends, If I Had it All, and all the others.

Then come Friday night my partner, Rob, landed himself in the ER with a heart condition. It took a while, but thanks to the skilled staff at the hospital, and the marvels of modern medicine, he came through just fine. It was a minor event, as these things go, but it was enough to scare the shit out me, and him, and pretty much all of us.

Everyday is tough. Everyday we have stress about our kids, or about work, or about money, or about any number of a million things that life is all about. Everyday there are hard things to face. But everyday there are good things too. Many good things. This is something I know, but find it a hard to remember deep in the throes of life. I wonder if I can go forward from all this, reestablishing a connection to myself, but also aiming to be like the fellow in this video below. Everyday can be difficult, or it can be beautiful, usually it is some of both. But everyday it is my choice. And I'd much rather have that reality, than an everyday life without Rob. Any day.

"The Space Between

What's wrong and right

Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you

The Space Between

Your heart and mine

Is the space we fill with time"

-The Space Between- DMB-